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Imagine a wine sommelier who tells you which wine would pair best with your meal … except for psychedelics. You tell the sommelier what results you want, eg:
a reduction in anxiety/PTSD/OCD
to be less afraid of death/dying
a way to reconnect with my romantic partner
to be kinder to myself
to find a healthy way to feel anger
to let go of the past
I told my friend about my sojourn into the ketamine machine, fear’s temptation and surprisingly easy denial, and the overarching sensation of accompaniment on some grand journey to return to the default world with the holy grail of healing, and finished the tale by saying, “but I don’t know if I got anything out of it.” His laugh still warms my ears, “you mean to tell me that you went to the core of all of existence, and in the nothingness, felt like your purpose is to heal, and you don’t think that means anything?!”
Read moreThe doctor injected me with 80mg of ketamine intramuscularly. Similar to anesthesia, I started counting to see how high I could get before being transported to an altered reality. I got to 37. Apparently the doctor asked me at the 3-min mark if I wanted the booster dose, but I have no recollection. I was already lightyears away from the room and any semblance of this individual, corporeal life.
Read moreI’ve worked at a ketamine clinic for four years now, and have used the treatment for my own healing several times; however, I had never before experienced the glamorized ‘ego death,’ which occurs when all sense of self is temporarily lost or forgotten, leading to a feeling of nonduality (total lack of separation from anything else). Recently, however, I finally did. Here’s my attempt at describing the experience.
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I specialize in trauma; and, as such, I have the humbling opportunity to sit with people as they confront the most painful aspects of their lives. Something I’ve noticed in clients is the desire to curl into a ball and look away when facing the sometimes-unbearable pain. But, this is the time when I remind clients that the fact that they’re seeing their pain means that it’s conscious enough that it’s no longer controlling them. It might still be affecting them, but it’s no longer in the driver’s seat, with the client being carelessly careened down treacherous paths.